Anger Management.

About Anger Management.

When thinking about anger management, it is worth taking a closer look at anger and aggression in order to gain a deeper understanding of one's emotions and strive toward applying anger management solutions.

Often, when someone feels frustration, they are liable to blow up when their emotions are aroused. However, frustration does not occur over night; rather, frustration occurs when underlying issues come to the surface. Therefore, frustration is a deep, unrelieved sense or state of lack of confidence and dissatisfaction, arising from unsettled grievances or and unsatisfied needs and desires.

Anger, then, is the feeling a person gets when he or she does not get their way, or when a series of issues, which had lain dormant, waiting for the time to flare up, eventually rise to the surface. Aggression is a forceful act or method employed to dominate another individual.

Aggression is an argumentative, harmful or destructive mode of behavior particularly when instigated by frustration. Aggression can be good if your life is in danger, but in most instances aggression just causes harm.

Assertiveness on the other hand is an effective form of communicating your feelings to another individual without causing injury, destruction or argument. Assertiveness is a strong, bold, confident quality we have within us that helps us to defend our rights when others are trying to deprive us of them.

If we learn the difference between aggression and assertiveness, we will be learning a good behavioural pattern, while at the same time, taking control of our livese and avoiding future problems.

If you are feeling frustration, you might want to sit down and go over your beliefs, opinions, theories, reasoning etc in your mind. . By reviewing the sources that make you angry, you can reduce the tension when you see anger brewing; you will then realize that it is not worth getting angry, since the causes of your frustrations are out of your control.

For example, when you are evaluating yourself, you might see another point of view and conclude that your frustration is out of order. These strategies are all about anger management

Assertive action against a person who has done you wrong, can prove far more effective than blowing a fuse. We can see from an example about anger management, how a person loses his or her temper and what the consequences he or she must face are, because of this reaction.

For example, two people are engaged in an argument and a fight breaks out. One of the individuals was accused of spreading lies about the other one. The ensuing violent episode attracts the neighbours who call the police. When the police arrive, both parties are placed in handcuffs and both are lead off to gaol.

Their problems have increased because they both may have to pay fines, court costs and, possibly, probation fees. So, one problem has led to a series of other problems but it does not stop there. When the pair has paid off all of their fines, costs and so forth, they will have a police record whereby everyone will judge them for the rest of their lives, considering them immature, violent people who are not to be trusted.

Now let us look at another example were assertiveness was used in this scenario about anger management. A couple of people are confront each other after one person has spread lies throughout the neighborhood about the other person.

The person victimized by the rumours walks up to his friend and asks: 'Why are you telling people that I have a drinking problem?'. The other person says, 'I did not tell anyone that you have a drinking problem'. 'Wrong!', says the first person, 'You told my best friend who is not a liar'. 'Well, I assumed that you had a drinking problem because you were drinking every time I came to your house'.

'Just because I am drinking every time you come by my house doesn't mean that I have a problem. I refuse to allow you to continue dragging my name through the mud and I won't allow you to visit my house again, if you keep telling lies about me. Friends don't hurt their friends. So, if you have any problems with me just talk to me about them instead of going behind my back'.

What a very good outcome!

This person did a great job asserting himself and the results will surely prove successful. Let's see what happens next. '

I'm really sorry; I didn't mean to offend you. I will talk to you next time I have a problem with you. However, I am still concerned that your drinking may be a problem, since you do drink every time I come around to your home'. 'Well, OK then let's go to my place and discuss the matter'.

The diference is dramatic, isn't it? And all because the one had thought about anger management!